GVK: ALTHOUGH there are Many stories of Floff-ius the Man-ipulator...
GVK: This story will be of Her World FemDomination....
GVK: It began, like many EPIC Stories do, inside the flaming walls of Floff-ius' birthplace
GVK: Inside this fire-scorched cavern of....apparently Illinois....
GVK: The Goddess-to-be Floff-ius was born under the name
GVK: "Floffel Buffel Monster"
GVK: Not unlike many young conquerors-to-be, Floff was spit on and ignored by her peers...
GVK: Because She was cast out by Her inferiors, She set out to do the Work of a God[dess]
GVK: Floff worked Her way up from Her first "job" to be the top employer at Enron...
GVK: Unlike those other Jackasses, THE MIGHTY FLOFF skillfully dodged the Enron scandal
GVK: And went on to Invent a Time Machine;
GVK: She used this Time Machine [dubbed the "FloffelBuff"] to travel back in time....
GVK: Where She established the greatest historical traps the World knows of
GVK: Some of Her works include the Trojan Horse, Microsoft, and British [FUCKING] Petroleum
GVK: Yes, Her ingenious Traps lured even the greatest minds to their execution
GVK: Slowly, She came to establish Herself as the Great Manipulator
GVK: But She soon surpassed that triumph by curing cancer
GVK: Because of Her cure, She was bestowed the title of "Floff the Wise"
GVK: She deemed it fit to work both of Her GLORIOUS names into one....
GVK: Naming Herself "Floff the Wise Man-ipulator"
GVK: But She wasn't done there, Aw HELL NAW
GVK: She decided the only thing better than World FemDomination, would be to rank among the gods
GVK: And so She set out, battling gods from the weakest to the strongest, pwning all she met
GVK: Until She reached the heavens, where She found the Great Gig in the Sky
GVK: She spoke with the Gig, and they came to an Agreement
GVK: This Agreement came to be known as Our Holy Word, Or Else [aka, O.H.W.O.E.]
GVK: This Agreement officially deemed Our Lady, the wonderful "Floff the Wise Man-ipulator", a god
GVK: The name She was given [fuck that, she chose it, mf]...
GVK: Was "Floff-ius, the Goddess of Wisdom and Man-ipulation"
GVK: Although we Inferiorites [Her name for us] never witnessed this Glorious Event...
GVK: We know it to be true, because "OHWOE" establishes it to be the truth
GVK: And so ends this Chronicle of "Floff-ius, the Goddess of Wisdom and Man-ipulation", Amen.

woot!!!!!!